Monday, January 16, 2012

Refining Your Writing

Lately, I've been doing some "refinement" exercises by pulling out manuscripts I'd written ten years ago and refining the passages. This exercise is great for honing your editing skills.

Check out the following paragraph's as written them in their edited form years ago.

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Steven went from Natalie’s room to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He poured and sat at the table of the empty room, grateful for a moment alone without his talkative housekeeper freely giving his opinions. He took a long sip of the strong black brew. Natalie Harris was one beautiful woman. He hadn’t expected her to be so attractive. He’d envisioned a fifty-something busy body that would drive him to distraction.

Steven took another sip of steaming coffee. Miss Harris would definitely drive him to distraction, but not for the reason he’d imagined.

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Now read the same selection, expanded and refined. Take note of the improvements.

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Steven went from Natalie’s room to the kitchen. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat at the table. He was grateful his talkative housekeeper wasn’t there. He wasn’t in the mood to listen to a litany of opinions Sally Ann might impose on him--about Natalie, the cattle, the hired hands, the moon, the sun, the stars, but mostly about Natalie.

He took a long sip of the strong black brew and sighed.

Natalie Harris was one beautiful woman. He hadn’t expected a her to be so attractive. He’d envisioned a fifty-something busy body who would drive him to distraction.

Steven took another sip of steaming coffee. Miss Harris would definitely drive him to distraction, but not for the reason he’d imagined.

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See how much better the second set of paragraphs flow? The sentences are better defined, and the selection is split into more paragraphs which make it clearer and sets a better pace.

Did you notice the added information? This extra content does a better job of grounding the reader and of explaining a little more about the characters.

Compare sample 1 (the original text) below with sample 2 (the refinement) which follows it.

Sample 1: "He poured and sat at the table of the empty room, grateful for a moment alone without his talkative housekeeper freely giving his opinions."

Sample 2: "He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat at the table. He was grateful his talkative housekeeper wasn’t there. He wasn’t in the mood to listen to the litany of opinions Sally Ann might impose on him--about Natalie, the cattle, the hired hands, the moon, the sun, the stars, but mostly about Natalie."

A. Sample 2 reads much better than sample 1 does.

B. Sample 2 defines more clearly just how "talkative" his housekeeper is.

C. Sample 2 names his housekeeper.

Pulling out manuscripts you may or may not have published years ago and going over them with a fresh outlook and years more experience in writing under your belt can be very enlightening.

Practice your editing skills on your old writings, and you'll find this exercise will greatly improve your editing abilities as you work on your current projects.

Good luck!

Fran

Fran Shaff, Award-Winning Author
http://sites.google.com/site/fshaff

2 comments:

Elsie Love said...

I find I can always refine. No matter how often I go through something, there's always room for improvement. After a certain point, I cringe and avert my gaze to maintain sanity!

Fran Shaff said...

Good point, Elsie. Somewhere along the line, we just have to quit editing and be satisfied with what we've written.

Fran