Monday, July 23, 2012

Action vs Narration

Eddie delivered a right cross, hitting Kevin in the left cheek.

Kevin retaliated with an uppercut to his opponent's chin.

Eddie's mouth began to bleed. "So that's the way it's gonna be, huh?" He wiped blood from his lips. "You really think she's worth getting yourself beat to a pulp? That's what I'm going to do, you know," he said, shifting his weight from foot to foot, back and forth.

Kevin laughed. "This fight's got nothing to do with Suellen. I'm going to beat the crap out of you just for the fun of it."

Eddie threw another right cross in his brother's direction.

Kevin ducked, shoved his shoulder into Eddie's gut and flattened him. "Maybe next time you'll do as I suggest and just flip a coin to see who gets to take Suellen to the movies."


The above scene is filled with action. Although it lacks a good deal of information (who these brothers are, what they look like, how old they are, etc.), it is definitely more colorful than a simple narration of what happened.

Example: Kevin and Eddie had a fight over who was going to take Suellen to the movies. Kevin won.

The more active fiction is, the more engaging it is. The more engaging it is, the more enjoyable it is--for both the reader and the writer!


Fran Shaff, Award-Winning Author
Fran's Web Page

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